If ever there was something most of us find ourselves craving at some time or another, it’s space for ourselves. At least, that’s what so many of my clients tell me when they come and sit down in my therapy room. We’d reckon most of us have felt this need, at one time or another.
We live life at such frantic speed most of the time, we eat on the go, we text rather than phone because it’s quicker, things often feel chaotic and hurried and like there’s no time. We’re often hazily aware that we’re not really thinking things through, that we’re just reacting to life and to others rather than reflecting and responding. We’re functioning, but it’s hard to enjoy our life or the people in it much of the time.
And that’s on a good day. When things are going reasonably well, and we’re getting by.
Add into the mix something extra – it could be something sudden
and unexpected, like illness or a bereavement, a relationship breakdown or redundancy; or it could be something that we’ve been putting out of our mind for a very long time, maybe something that happened when we were younger that hurt or shamed us. We’ve been trying to ignore it but suddenly it won’t go away any longer.
Or it could be an old wound or hurt that happened a long time ago. Maybe something that’s just happened has brought the memory back up to the surface, and we know we need to deal with it, but don’t know how or where to begin. Like the death of a parent, or being bullied, feeling stupid at school, or isolated or lonely.
It could be something current, like finding out we are ill, or something happening that turns our world upside down. It can be something frightening, or unbearably sad, or a loss or change we just can’t see our way to getting over. Or through.
Sometimes it can be something that’s difficult to put into words, or to find a reason for, like a general feeling of unhappiness. Of knowing deep down that all is not well and that we’ve just been trying to put on a brave face, but really pretending for a very long time. Sometimes for a whole lifetime, to ourselves as well as to other people.
We long for space to think things through, sort them out. To find a better way. But there never is any such space to be found. Other people make demands on us, expect lots from us, or are genuinely dependent on us.
We end up feeling guilty, and stretched. We can feel resentful and defeated and powerless to change anything. Yet we long for things to change, often telling ourselves that things will be better ‘one day’ if we can just keep going for a while longer.
Does life feel like it’s getting on top of you a bit like this?
Could you benefit from a place to take some time-out?
… to explore your thoughts and feelings
… to get back on a front foot again
… to work it out in such a way that you don’t look back?
Except to say, ‘Look how far I’ve come, and where I am now! I didn’t think I had it in me! I didnt think I could ever find myself here. I’m so proud I did it!’
Janny offers a wonderful combination of psychotherapy grounded in a deep understanding of trauma and how we heal, and a spiritual dimension via which we are helped to find meaning and discover ways to grow out if the experiences we have been through, and the challenges we face.
You can get in touch directly here
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